i recently moved, which means i got to spend some time filtering through drawers littered with the many scraps of a well-lived life. mosaics of scrawled thoughts, theatre programs, concert tickets, first drafts of plays draped in a tapestry of alien scribbles. i've sifted through clothes, cds, movies, books - what comes, what doesn't. and i have the double added bonus of serving a double-packing duty: the stuff that goes into storage until i figure out what i'm doing with my life, and the stuff that will join me for the next few months as i journey back to vancouver, and then..? stay there? somewhere else? the world is my oyster, and i like it raw!
it was fucking great!
unlike most normal, healhty humans, i love packing! sifting through the memories, the slow deliberation, the remembering, reassessing, reassigning. it's very therapeutic, actually. an opportunity to take stock in one's current reality. what have i been up to? is it what i want to be up to? what will i need for what i want to be up to?
delicious!
what can i say, i simply love packing! i've always loved packing, and i will likely always love packing. which is probably a good thing, considering how many times i've moved in my life. i've lived in more homes than years i've been alive...
it's a wanderlust that was fostered in my childhood by parents who always strove for more. sometimes we moved for work - my dad the bank manager would get offered a better position far far away. but sometimes, we moved for the sheer joy of it.
i loved those sunday afternoons, crawling through the streets, trolling for open houses. i loved walking into strange homes that might some day foster so many fights and laughs and memories. i loved trying to imagine the memories: where would i put my bed? would i have a sleepover? who would my friends be (if it was in a really different neighborhood)?
i just loved all that possibility oozing from the hitherto unseen carpets and stairways and paint colours, all the things that i might one day hate or just ignoringly take for granted.
and so i guess here i am again, on another cusp in my cuspy life. and yet, not a cusp, not really. i have figured out who i want to be when i grow up, i'm just travelling to the land of friends and connections to see if i have a better chance of doing it there than here. perhaps i won't and i'll come back. perhaps i will, but come back anyway, with a bit more experience (and expertise?) under my belt. perhaps i'll get whisked off to some new land that i hadn't even contemplated.
who knows? i don't, not really. i'm just here for the ride, the great wonderful thrilling ride that is life.
whee!
No comments:
Post a Comment